Soul-mating - Relationships - Sourcing [Relationshipping Series - Part IV]

Relationshipping Series - Part IV

Soul-mating - Relationships - Sourcing

I have now spent 65 years in this lifetime on Planet Earth...

In the past I have written how the best avenue to a relationship is to first mate with our own soul and find the Beloved Source Of Love and Being within.

I have observed that many people through the years, including myself, have a primary wish and desire to find that soul-mate that somehow will turn the world into magically glorious forever moments of unconditional love.

We all know that relationships happen between two human beings. As much as we may share a belief that there is some kind of connection to Life's Source, most of us live our lives with the realization that not many of us have arrived at anywhere close to pure enlightenment or unconditional love. We tend to live in our worlds of expectations, anticipation, hopes, fears, fantasies, wants, and desires. We have lived in tribes that have had traditions about relationships and what they are to be... what is good for the stability of a society or cultural group. Various governments and religions have special ceremonies that attempt to capture the spirit of love in an institutional arrangement and commitment to vows sworn before the gods and the group.

Social norms and traditions of the tribe are fine...A reminder to myself, and to any readers who may wish to take it in, is to look deeply at what we want and expect from a relationship with another person... to look at the expectations and hopes and whatever else pops up. It seems that the actual paradigm of relationships may be changing... at least for those of us past the 'creating a family together' years.

Soul-mate is a loaded term on which we can project many meanings. It seems that every person can be our soul-mate for some specific reason. Every person with whom we come in contact touches our soul in some way or another ... and we find that we can respond and/or react, which has the potential to bring more responses and reactions and perhaps greater awareness. Relationships of all kinds are the potential catalysts for change... opportunities to learn and to grow.

I do believe we could learn from every person we meet. But who has the time?

I believe that looking for a soul-mate may be misplacing priorities ... and I can't say this is true for you or for anyone else. It seems that we must make that soul connection within first... learning to accept the Love that exists within and let it come to our consciousness and every aspect of our soul... as we do this we find a certain healing, contentment, joy, and peace. And from this space of Love we can love others not from our own needs or because we want something from the other person... we simple allow love to flow through us. Now this can be a bit confusing for anyone who has only seen caring and love from the perspective of a personality wanting something or needing something from the outside. We all have probably observed and been in situations where someone has mistaken our 'Spiritual Compassion' and caring as personal expressions of love that are then projected into a form of personal relationship.

The essence of Being can supply unconditional love to us as we return to this present moment and find our awareness in the space of pure Essence and Being. The spiritual teachers through the years have done their best to help point others to the Light of the Present Moment. Most of us are still working on finding our way home to our true center and to our central Essence.

From the place of acceptance and presence there can come a peace that proclaims serenely that "all is well." We find the Ocean of Love that holds all things together... the cohesive Spirit of Being.

Now we become one with the ocean of being and all of a sudden discover we also have a vehicle that walks on the ground of the physical world. And this gift of our human body has certain desires. We are made in different forms that complement one another. And so we have the gift of the human experience.

It seems only fitting in my fantasy that two people who have come to a deep connection in mating with their own souls and who do not need someone to provide a sense of fulfillment, might enjoy sharing the moments of unconditional love... in the freedom of co-creating what that relationship might look like. There is wisdom in being free and flexible and realizing there in no real security in the physical world as much as some people try to find that security. It may come for a day or 20 years, and then it will change. Transitions are a natural part of a Universe that is in constant motion...

So, relationship, as life, must have a certain flexibility and freedom... with participants who are open to the changes that life brings if the relationship is to continue to grow... it does not mean we do not become attached to others, but as in physical death, there are also the mini-deaths that occur in life and in relationships... It does not mean we avoid relationships... it means we know that real life provides continuing opportunities for growth at various levels. We can enjoy the oneness of Life in the present moment and the joys and sorrows of togetherness with another person...

Some have resigned themselves to the way it is and settle for deadness within relationships.  And many have left relationships to find that soul-mate that will assure Love forever and permanent security. I hope we each find our soul mate in pleasure, purpose, and partnering in this world and that when we do we are ready for the ride of our lives, for I can imagine there will be many lessons we have yet to learn.

We all project the best when we meet someone to whom we are attracted. And depending on the amount of time we spend together and the amount of time we invest in really getting to know another person, the time will vary as to when exactly those ideal projections will fall away and we see one another from a new perspective. The question is, what do we do then?

If you have spent time on self-discovery and self-growth in both the personality and spiritual dimensions, you know it can be tough work and bring great joy as well. I look forward to the day when I can spend some time with another being and the spiritual and personal growth we do together has the same depth and joy as the path has provided so far, in addition to the joy of just being, playing, and doing together...

So, relationships always involve differences. Soul-mating always begins within. Source-love is one of the keys to true happiness and peace. As we allow the Love that is infinite to flow through us to others we can walk in paths filled with more harmony and freedom.

"But," you might say, "how do I go about the process of mating with my essence, with my Spiritual center?"

I suggest you begin accepting exactly where you are right now in your life. I always begin by asking that deepest and highest aspect within for some help... You might call this "Universe," "Great Spirit," "God," "Higher Self," "Life Energy," "Source," or your choice! Simply ask the Mystery... out loud and say it 3 times for emphasis...

We start where we are ... and become increasingly aware of the present moment. Be aware when you slip into thoughts focused on the past and thought focused on the future... then return your awareness to the present moment...

It is often helpful to work with a teacher, guide, or mentor of sorts in this process. Someone you trust. But always honor your own rhythm and inner integrity... Be the person you would like to meet. Develop the qualities that you look for in a potential partner. Continue to seek your own centeredness and spiritual Essence within... Breathe in this moment of awareness the Life that is Now... Find acceptance and peace here in the present moment...

And enjoy the Life that is now...

With Blessings and Love on your journey, John