Dreams, ministry, runes, and influences…
I am in bed with a woman and about to make love…. as
I am looking between her legs and greeting her, I notice a green stem that
is coming out between her lower lips and it has been cut off, yet seems vibrant and alive. I decide to gently tug
on it to see if it is loose and will come out. It is firmly attached and
rooted.
Then a man is in the room who was the best man at our
wedding. The two of them are talking about a minister who died a number of
years ago. Except the way they are talking, he is still alive. He had run away
and was rather obsessed with something being wrong with him. He was actually at
the same place we were and was playing outside with some others… it was almost
like a sanitarium or retreat place…. He was playing a game with others and
later I saw him sitting across a large room… I couldn’t quite recognize him,
but it seemed to be him…
He was a good minister who cared for others. He was funny
and also serious. He was an extrovert most of the time.. he was a good
story-teller and writer.
Through some Bible studies in Miss. At age 18, along with involvement in
fundamentalist Christianity, I thought I
was the apostle Paul in a new time and place. 10 years later I went to Seminary
to study Jungian psychology and pastoral counseling… and worked as an associate
minister and chaplain… as it became clear that I did not want to be in the UCC
and was feeling unprepared to write my statement of faith or graduate the
following year, I chose instead to return to PA and spend time with my mother
in her final year. And I was also somewhat depressed… ran away and gave up… the
seminary days and path to ministry were cut off… like the green stem protruding
for the feminine part of me…
When I was 33, I moved our family across the country to
enter an experimental graduate program that integrated spirituality,
psychology, education, philosophy, and was quite a holistic approach that
incorporated the teaching of Psychosynthesis… As the director of that school
turned away from accreditation processes and more toward controlling others,
the school was ended as a number of us students and faculty left in protest for
the good of all… Another turn away and on to another path that led to a decade
of work in project management positions in various areas of the construction
industry.
I later completed my graduate degree in counseling and
worked for a few years as a guidance counselor… or as it seemed to me to be – a
glorified administrative assistant to the principals.
I had often valued the area of inner space exploration
and personal and spiritual growth and continued to record my dreams and use the
principles and practices I learned in my Psychosynthesis training, along with
various meditation techniques and things I learned from metaphysical teachers
along the way.
In April of 1994,
I had a dream in which I was with a number of minister friends at a social
gathering. I was asked to give the blessing at the picnic meal. Then a woman
with half blonde and half dark hair guided me through a kitchen area in through
a dark passageway. I went through a wooden door and she was nowhere to be
found. I was in a small inner chamber like in a medieval castle. There were
four heavy looking dark wooden door; one in each of the four walls. The chamber
seemed about 8-10 foot square. I looked to the tile floor and noticed a gold
and red symbol in the center tile. There was a light illuminating it and as I
looked down at it, a voice asked, “Whose life is it anyway?” somehow this felt
like a very sacred and special moment of connection and I began to weep. I
asked, “Who are you?” or, “Who sent you?”
The one word response came, “Melchizidek” … When I woke I realized how powerful
a dream and messenger had just visited me. I could not remember who “Melchizidek”
was but wrote the name down before I forgot it. As I contemplated the dream, a
friends name popped into my mind and who was somewhat familiar with
metaphysical and spiritual things. I called her and left a message. Then I went
to the Seminary library in the town in which I was living at the time. I
figured it sounded like an Biblical name from the Old Testament. My research
soon led me to the information that Melchizidek was the first Priest-King of
the Israelites, even thought he was not an Israelite. And later all priest and
ministers were ordained in the “line of Melchizidek.” It was also mentioned in
the New Testament when the writers wanted to authenticate Jesus of Nazareth’s
credential, they wrote that he was in the line and order of Melchizidek.
When I returned home, my friend called back and I shared
the dream with her and told her it seemed like it was a calling back to
ministry in some way. She then said to my amazement, “Did you know I’m an
ordained priest in the Order of Melchizidek?” And I answered, “no, but now I know
why your name popped into my head after awaking from the dream.” She went on to
tell me about her ordination and that a minster was given a vision along with
the process by which to ordain new priests into the order of Melchizidek. Then she mentioned that he would be doing a
special weekend spiritual workshops for those considering ordination. Of course
I felt I needed and wanted to go to fulfill what I had begun many years before.
So I attended the weekend workshops with the Rev. Dan Cheesbro of the Sanctuary
of the Beloved and that led to my individual ordination service on Sunday evening.
It was a powerful and moving experience that seemed like a mixture of
Universalist, Unity, and Native American Spirituality. I received my
Certificate of Ordination a few weeks later and had it framed along with my
certificate of diplomas from College and Graduate School. I di not advertise
about the ordination in any big ways, but once in a while the opportunity came
up to help celebrate life transitions in wedding and memorial ceremonies.
And now, here I am at the beginning of a new life cycle
in 2013, wondering how this minister is to be rehabilitated and resurrected in
a new way…. The minister is not dead as I had thought… “How shall I be of
service to others at this time?” … “How will Life continue to use this ‘John-form
for Good?”
Shall I proclaim I am an ordained minister…a
non-sectarian pastoral counselor, available to help in times of transition… in
ceremonies of celebration, transition, and grief? Or shall I open to a quiet
path of volunteering to help with the homeless or a food bank or….?
The runes say:
To listen to the deep currents in my soul…. The powerful
and active current that is in the vastness of the unconscious…the Ocean
Energies… the vastness and power…the tides and currents of the deep that
are affected by the moon and other entities…
Abundance…there is abundance…
the abundant life…
To channel the positive force that is always
available… to think positively… to embrace the positive…
To acknowledge and own that I am Love’s Servant…
and shaman of the tribe in some way…
To open to and allow the energies of Synthesis to
bring every positive synchronicity to fruition…
Love…
Guides and guardian angels are
here… and I ask for help…
Walk in PEACE… In the peace of wild and natural
things as Wendell Berry wrote…
Thumbs Up…Success is on the
way…
Balance and moderation…
Family
Illumination…
the sun is rising and the day is dawning and light is casting away the unknown
and the darkness…
Look to my Predecessors…. The elders… those who
came before me…
Who are my predecessors…???
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A
few of the Influencers along this Journey’s Path
… in no particular order…
Buddhism: Suffering and
psychological pain comes from attachment to thoughts, ideas, expectations,
desire, fear, hopes and other created fantasies...
Christianity:
Love and treat others as we wish to be loved and treated… Let love be your
source and your guide…
Native American Spirituality:
All things are connected…the interconnected web of Life… and does it grow corn?
…
Carl Gustav Jung:
The numinous is an integral part of any healing process… and the importance of
dreams as messengers…
Roberto Assagioli: We
are beings of pure awareness and willing doers…
Eckhart Tolle:
The present moment is all there is… the power and presence of Now… letting go
of past and future fantasies…
Revs. Bob Payson, Paul L’Reau, Dr. P. William Hutchinson, Dr. Kit Howell, Dan
Cheesbro: Positive examples to following one’s Life path…all so
different, yet all impactful in their own uniqueness.
Mama Thelma Mae Beam Hutchinson: be
kind and try to understand others without judging them…
Hinduism: the realization of
the Self… the Individuation process…
Rogerian Psychology:
Listen…
Freudian Psychology:
The realm of the Unconscious…
Analytical Psychology:
What is in the shadow and unknown will control our thoughts and actions…
NLP: the importance of framing
our speech creates what is… and “we are more that we think we are”…
Behavioral Psychology:
rewards shape action…
Gestalt Psychology:
get the whole picture…
Family Systems:
another interactive web, everything affects everyone…
Existential Psychology:
Insanity is a relative perspective…
Dali Lama: “My religion is
Kindness”…
Transpersonal, Spiritual, Psychosynthesis,
Transformative, Integral, and Depth Psychology: We
have much more going on than the realm of personality which includes the
intangible, intuitive, noetic, and superconscious dimensions of
consciousness...
Metaphysics and New Age:
Multidimensionality, spiritual entities, paranormal, and psychic abilities…
Astrology: somewhat
interesting and useful confirmations…
Friends and Family:
the real teachers and bringers of the lessons for growth… those who showed
humanity and love and persistence…
Dreams: Messages from our
Unconscious and deepest Self…
Runes, I Ching, Tarot, pendulum, etc.:
Tools for accessing intuitive knowing…
All the Artists who dared to just create….
All the Actors who lost themselves in their
expression…
All the Musicians who merged the music with their
soul…
All the Authors who share Life’s richness and hope
and reality
All the Dancers who perfected their skills and let
freedom flow…
All the Leaders who dare to stand for love and
what is right for ALL
I continue to be open to that creative Spirit
which naturally wants to express itself through our living forms…
