Fixing others Pain

[[In response to some questions or concerns from friends and readers, I have taken the opportunity to see what words might come regarding these inquiries and the results are what follow... Your thoughts and comments are invited... you may write them by clicking the 'Comment' link at the end of the blog article or send them directly to: john@sunhutch.com.]

How do I empathize with others pain (stories) without wanting to fix them?

This question is chock-full of sub-topics, so I will initially offer a few questions to contemplate:

• How does one fix pain?
• Whose pain are you trying to fix?
• Is it physical pain, a recurring replay of something from the 'past,' or a current moment situation?
• Why is the person telling you the "story" and what do they want from you? What do they expect from you?
• What does "empathize" mean to you? What would empathizing actually look like?
• Does listening to someone else describe events that were painful to them make you uncomfortable?
• How do you deal with your own "pain"?

The best thing we can ever do is be present in the moment.

Sometimes people become identified as victims and so are most comfortable drawing in others by repeating the 'victim' events, replaying and recreating past moments that are really only trips away from the reality of the present.

Sometimes we have had a traumatic event that has occurred and it is healing to share it with someone. If this is the case, your present attention can be a part of that healing moment.

Eventually some form of acceptance needs to take place... it may be in the form of forgiveness... it may take the form of letting go... No matter what form it takes, in order to find the Peace of this present moment, we let go of both the past and also let go of fantasies about the future.  This can help to create a spaciousness in the stream of thoughts and feelings so be become aware of the Being we are in this moment.

Finding space in our awareness apart from the stories in our head brings us once again back Home to the timeless Now... the present moment of LIFE.... From which all things have their form and existence... It is only here and now where we experience the Peace that passes all understanding.

[Note: There is always more we can say about each element in this question or any question. The real answers come from within to have transformative effects which last. -  jh]

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John Hutchinson
http://www.sundancewellnesscenter.com/ - [latest post to blog]
http://www.sunhutch.com/ - [blog intro page]
Lancaster, PA