So... a Sundancing reminder...

So... for many of us, our days are filled with attending to this and that...the stuff of everyday life... and we can find our next step in becoming consciously aware right where we are...matter of fact that is the only place we can find the presence of the moment...


Is Life breathing through you as you read these words? ... I guess it is so!.... the oneness of Life has brought you to and sustains you in this very moment... we use our thinking mind to visit other 'nows'... the nows of the past... and often we are reminded of fears of future nows by our ego's relentless addiction to keep us away from this moment...

But in all of this and that... Life is...we are... being and existence.... the form emerging from the unmanifested ... from the formless...

So in the process of this and that, we pause in the space between thoughts for just a timeless reminder of the blessed oneness of All....

...........

................

.................................

..........

............................................

................

Peace and Love.... John

Share Your Words of Wisdom

You are invited to share your thoughts after doing the following brief exercise...

Let's pretend you are about to take an adventurous journey into space and it is not known exactly when you may return...

Your closest friends, perhaps your children, and others close to your heart have gathered and you about to share something with them...

You have some wisdom you gained along your path and they want to hear from you...

What are the three [3] most important bits of wisdom... your truths... that you would like most to share with your loved ones.

[Process Note: You may come up with 10 or 20 things you'd like to share, if ther is only time to share 3, please decide which would be your top 3 in no particular order.]

I invite you to also share these with the Sundance Center community by sending them to me at john@sunhutch.com ... I will maintain your privacy and will combine them with the other words of wisdom that are received... They will be grouped by similar focus and theme. The combined list will be posted on the Sundance blog and you will be notified. Please make each 'bit of wisdom' as clear and concise as possible...

If you are not on our mailing list and would like to be added, simply Click Here >>

Thanks for your participation...

Peace and Blessing to All!
John Hutchinson
[Note: If you are reading this as an older post, you are also invited to share and your 'wisdom' will be added to the posted list. -jh]

Lunar Life Cycle Report (LLC)

[ Note: I first met Phillip when we were grad students in San Francisco in 1979... I knew he was a brilliant astrologer and one of 'the good guys'... after all we did pick the same graduate emphasis! I was excited to see his work show up on Caroline Myss's website and immediately ordered a copy ... I found the report confirming the transitions I was going through and it helped to make sense of the various transitions on the past as well... I highly recommend Phillip Levine's Lunar Life Cycle Report! - John Hutchinson, Sundance Wellness Center]

LLC ...The Timing of Your Life
Phillip Levine, Astrologer and LLC Report creator, describes the report:

"Perspective -- the "Big Picture." It tells you where you've been and where you are. It shows you what's likely in your next phase in life. The more uncertain or unclear your situation is, the more valuable will be perspective. In your own life, right now, do you have perspective? Do you have a method for determining the place or the context for where you find yourself at this point in your life? Would you like to be able to see how another earlier time fits into the overall process you are living? To clarify your purpose by discovering deeper meaning in your past experiences and your present situation?

"The Lunar Life Cycle is prepared just for you, based upon your own time and place of birth, and offers you just such a view, a way of seeing, as if you were able to ascend to a mountain top and to view your surroundings and see where everything is. Using the lunar cycle from New Moon to Full Moon and then back to New Moon, can help you to understand the ebbs and flows in the unfolding of your life (and many other cycles as well). It allows you to know when it is the time to push, to act, or decide; or when it is time to let yourself empty, to be still."  - Philip Levine

Recent endorsement by Caroline Myss:

"... I am happy to introduce a new creation by Philip Levine, creator of the Cosmic Window and co-creator with Richard Tarnas of the Calendar of Archetypal Influences. Using the lunar cycle as a model, the new Lunar Life Cycle report can illuminate the structure and the timing of your own individual life's unfoldment in a completely readable and non-technical way... I cannot imagine a more effective and timely gift during these times of uncertainty. It will light your way... CMED is so very proud to be able to present the work of Philip Levine to you."

- from the Caroline Myss website

Richard Tarnas says this about Phillip's Lunar Life Cycle Report:

"It's fantastic, a very effective way of conveying that information. The many nuances and intervening stages, with the interpretive elaboration, were illuminating for me. I am really impressed with the extraordinary clarity of your text, and how well you employed and developed the metaphors of organic growth and building structures. It's all very well written, [with] a certain economy and solidity in the prose that I really admire, and that is reflected as well in the life perspective you articulate."  - Richard Tarnas

Click Here to Read More or Order the LLC Report

"Any Regrets?"

"So, do you have any regrets about.....?"

The question has been asked of me... and you probably have heard it from time to time, especially while making a transition... or regarding a particular situation.

The famous crooner, Frank Sinatra, in "My Way" sang:
"Regrets, I've had a few...but then again... too few to mention..."

I guess, conventionally speaking, we have all made decisions or done something that, if we had the opportunity to go back, would have done something different. Often the regret is based on the reaction or result that followed a decision...some words spoken in haste... or other actions for which we later felt sorry...

"Regrets" do imply that we are sorry or disappointed that things turned out the way they did. It is quite appropriate to apologize and/or make amends if we have disrespected or 'wronged' another being in some way. Healthy living in our world involves right living and right actions that are aligned with our deepest and highest being. This provides a sense of harmony and integrity. We know when we have done something that is out of harmony with our innermost values...unless we have completely become lost in unconsciousness ... and forget our spiritual core being-ness.

Sometimes our egoic mind likes to replay past regrets or even 'sins' we have committed. The 'sins' may be a real missing of the mark to respect all Life...and it may also come with a sense of guilt and shame that is based upon tribal, cultural, or religious 'laws'...

If I feel I have wronged someone, I find that it is always best to apologize and see if there is anything that needs to be done to heal the separation. At other times, we may make decisions that others do not like or do not agree with and they may feel hurt, disappointed, or angry. We can be empathetic and realize that the other person is experiencing an emotional reaction because their expectations, desires, and wishes were not met, and we do not need to apologize for doing what we sensed was the best action or decision at the time.

It does little or no good to try to figure out what happened, why it happened, or who is to blame. Of course, we can hopefully learn from our life experience, but replaying the past can be a dead end street. I heard Deepak Chopra once say, "There are an infinite number of causes leading to an infinite number of results" [paraphrased]. So, good luck with figuring it all out. And I'm reminded of a line in a James Taylor song: "Einstein said, 'we can never understand it all'" [again, a paraphrase]...

So, if you decide you need to go to a 'psychiatrist' to help you get it all figured out, be ready to spend an infinite number of dollars... in an infinite number of sessions ...and perhaps take an infinite number of pills!  I'm not suggesting that counseling will not help us through certain transitions in life... only that if we would begin to search through the past for issues and answers, it might be an inefficient and ineffective way toward finding the true Self we are... the awareness of Being that IS right now...

'Regrets' imply a look back into past 'nows'... or may be left over memory traces that haunt our present thoughts and feelings...  I remind myself all the time that we never have all the answers...and sometimes no 'answer' at all!

Whenever we try to return to the 'past' or revisit the scene of a past 'regret'... we are always seeing it with our own egoic judgments and the judgments of others' egoic perspectives. Letting go of a few 'regrets,' after learning what we can from the experience, can be a positive move to returning to the present moment. We might want to make sure that any trips down memory lane are not simply another ego trick to keep us from the Love, Peace, Power, and Joy that is Life in this Creative Present Moment.

A few suggestions in summary:

1. Focus on 'WHAT IS' right  Now;
2. If those 'regrets' come into our awareness, we can:
1. See if it is something we need to apologize for or make amends;
2. Take action
3. Accept it as what was without looking for excuses, reasons, blame, etc.
4. Love and forgive ourselves or others as appropriate;
5. Be here again in this present moment.
3. If need be, ask a life coach or other trusted friend for some guidance.

I like to remind myself... and all who are reading this...  that we did the best we could under the circumstances at any particular event on the journey's path... be gentle on yourself and others... in Frank's words, "I did it 'my' way"...

So, without another side-trip into the nature of "'my' way"... We do our best, through and beyond ego, in this moment to respect all LIFE... and it IS good enough! We are 'good enough' and better!

Peace and Blessings to ALL!

September 23, 2010 - John Hutchinson

______________________________________________________

John Hutchinson
http://www.sundancewellnesscenter.com/ - [latest post to blog]
http://www.sunhutch.com/ - [blog intro page]
Lancaster, PA

"You can only perceive the beauty that lives outside you when you feel the beauty that lives inside you. Honor your body and accept it as it is. You have the right to feel beautiful and enjoy it." ~ don Miguel Ruiz 

------------------------------------------------
To ADD or ADJUST EMAIL DELIVERY, choose interest options, or send a message, please visit: http://EZ-1111.com

Where is Your Attention Focused? [+Awareness Exercise]

Living in the Past? ... How? 
[plus Awareness Exercise]

A number of years ago, Caroline Myss recorded a series of talks on the "Anatomy of Spirit" and "Why People Don't Heal."  She noticed that often we become stuck and resist Life's spirit or energy.

Sometimes when I am listening to others share, I notice they are often speaking of things that happened years ago. They may be feeling hurt or have a sense that life is unfair. It is not hard to see how we all can fall into a false identity of being a victim... mistreated by a spouse, friend, associate, or life in general.

If you stop and look at the thoughts that run through the thinking process, there can be the incessant search for 'the answer,' or a search for what I did 'wrong,' or simply the replaying of all the 'wrongs' that have been done to us.

The ego loves for us to be lost in any kind of identification with the past... or future... which keeps us distracted from being in touch with the Power of the Present Moment.

I'm not suggesting that life situations, events, and actions in the past were not real. The issue is at least two-fold. If we are to let go of being identified as a 'victim,' we must find acceptance of what was... what happened, and what is the reality of the situation in our life now. The ego would like nothing more than to have us replay the past and stay lost in suffering...looking for companions who will commiserate. This of course strengthens the 'victim' identity and we believe all the stories we continue to create as we reinterpret past events.

Secondly, we may never know what motivated others or why things happened. Trying to figure it all out is a meaningless exercise that again keeps us from the present moment. At some point, if we are choosing to heal and remember who we are, we will find a way to forgive [accept] ourselves and others and begin anew in this moment. Expectations, desires, hopes, plans, and our idea of what is 'right' all play a role in how we interpret life situations and how we feel...both past and present, conventionally speaking.

There is a time to grieve, when we have lost something or someone we love. No one can say how long that period of grief takes. There is a difference in really grieving the loss of a person or expectation... and holding on to what we wanted that did not happen. Then we are simply resisting, which can lead to depression, anger, bitterness, despair, and a number of 'negative' emotional states that can be quite unhealthy and toxic for ourselves and others. It can lead to a lack of trust in self and others and continue to keep us from being alive Now.

If we find ourselves in such a state, or if we are with someone who is lost in the state of 'suffering,' perhaps we need to ask some questions:

"Why are you [am I] telling this story, again?"  ... When we are identified in a particular state or sub-personality, we tend to replay the same tapes over in our thoughts and we hear ourselves saying the same thing to others almost as a reinforcement of what we believe ... "That's my story and I'm sticking to it." He story of course sticks to us and sticks in out thoughts of how we have been 'wronged' or how life has treated us 'unfairly'...

"Is there anything I need right now?" ... At times we are so lost in trying to right the 'wrongs' of the past... or lost in concern and fear about what may happen in the future, that we forget we are really only ever alive right NOW... and unless we are in physical discomfort, we probably do not need anything to be in touch with the Life Energy streaming through us in this moment. Even physical discomfort, short of injury can be exacerbated by our mental and emotional state. Can you allow yourself to experience that you are 'OK' right in this moment?

How do we get from 'there' to Here?  ... to the Present Moment?... We all need to find our own path to remembering and being present...being more centered or conscious in the moment Life gifts us. And here are a few suggestions:

• Be aware of your body right now and your breath; notice the energy and sensations within your physical form; try to stay in touch with the present experience in your body; if and when thoughts enter, simply notice them without getting sidetracked and go back to noticing you inner body sensations... As you notice places in your body that may be tense, again, breathe into that area and perhaps apply a gentle massaging action...
• If having some strong emotions, simply be with them, sit and breathe into the feeling your are having now; if you find yourself thinking or analyzing, gently shift back to being with the emotion...let it deepen and travel through it; when we resist emotions, they become submerged and may unconsciously affect our experience and actions...
• Notice the space around you; look at the scene before you as if nothing was labeled and you are seeing it for the first time... be with the experience of noticing in this moment; hear the sounds without resisting anything; let whatever sound that is present be part of the symphony of that moment; Be aware of any scents you are picking up.... Notice all your senses... all part of the gift of Life right now...
• Thoughts come and go...they continually move through us... simply notice them without thinking... let them go through... if you notice the thoughts taking a journey  and playing an old tape, gently remind yourself that you are not your thoughts...and return to just being, while noticing some space between the thoughts that flow in and through...
• Listening to soothing music, taking a yoga or meditation class, finding a life coach, going for a walk in a natural setting...are all ways that may help you return to the present moment...
• Awareness [Disidentification] Exercise: Read the following to yourself as many times as you choose...
• "I experience my body, my physical form, which has many wonderful abilities to help me get around in the world and enjoy life... I am grateful for and love my body... and I am more than a body"...
  .
• "I experience various emotions and sensations that help me understand my interactions in the world and my reactions to what occurs... I am grateful for and love the ability to feel and sense life...and I am more than the emotions and sensations I experience...
  .
• I experience thoughts that come and go in my conscious mind and I am thankful for and love the ability to think and communicate... and I am more than the thoughts that come and go...
  .
• I am grateful for this physical body, the emotions and sensations, and the thinking process as all important aspects of everyday living... and I am more than all of these aspects... I AM  ...Pure Awareness... Consciousness... Being... in this timeless Moment... with the ability to decide how I will focus the creative life energy flowing through me...

  
A primary purpose of this Disidentification / Awareness Exercise is to remind us who we are and to help us detach in a healthy way from all the contents of consciousness so we may decide and act from the 'center' of our Beingness... From the 'Still-point' of Being, we choose the focus of attention and action with greater clarity and loving purpose.

In summary, we all have a 'past' in the sense that the Now has always been and we were there in the 'Now-Then' past as we are here in the 'Now-Now' present and will be present in the 'Next-Now' future.

Can you see how placing continual attention on past events... or on future possible scenarios robs us of Life Now? Getting stuck in historical mental reinterpretations or in projections and predictions into the 'future' are both ego fantasies that keep us from the Power of Life in this Moment of 'What Is.'

September 22, 2010 - John Hutchinson, Sundance Center

______________________________________________________

John Hutchinson
http://www.sundancewellnesscenter.com/ - [latest post to blog]
http://www.sunhutch.com/ - [blog intro page]
Lancaster, PA

"You can only perceive the beauty that lives outside you when you feel the beauty that lives inside you. Honor your body and accept it as it is. You have the right to feel beautiful and enjoy it." ~ don Miguel Ruiz 

------------------------------------------------
To ADD, REMOVE, or ADJUST EMAIL DELIVERY, choose interest options, or send a message, please visit: http://EZ-1111.com

[video]...Follow-up to "Beauty and the Body"

"Here's a pretty interesting video about women in advertising that came my way today, apropos of our recent conversation and possibly of interest to some of your blog readers" ... thanks to JS in RI >>>

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTlmho_RovY&feature=related

Letting Go of Preconceived Ideas

[In response to some questions and concerns from friends and readers, I have taken the opportunity to see what words might come regarding these inquiries and the results are what follows... Your thoughts and comments are invited... you may write them at the blog site or send them direct. At anytime you wish to adjust your email preferences, visit http://www.ez-1111.com/] 

 

How does one let go of preconceived ideas ...of what parenting should look like... what a friendship should look like... How clean my house should look(my favorite), etc.?

Whenever we are resisting what is ... whenever we notice judgment entering consciousness ... whenever we are wishing things will be better in the future... and most other times of conventional thinking, we are working with thoughts that have been developed by previous thinking or passed onto us as part of our training and life experience. The particular life situation does not matter. The dynamics are the same...

Consequently, most ordinary everyday conventional thinking is preconceived in some form and is at the root of the various emotional reactions we have in a specific life situation. The "preconceived" ideas will always be part of our ordinary thinking process. Awareness gives us a choice. As we see the judgments, negativity, and reactions enter our present awareness... as we notice the contents of the flow of thoughts and emotions, we are no longer identified with them. Awareness brings disidentification from all that is not pure being and awareness...

It is from this spaciousness that we can see 'what is' and choose any action. Being aware and accepting 'what is' does not mean we do not make choices or changes... It means we see, we realize the situation, we realize we are not the situation, but rather part of the Beingness that is Life... and from this space in consciousness, we respond ... more clearly and 'centered'...

Then, we can choose to let go of preconceived ideas, or see more clearly why those ideas may be or are relevant.

- JH - Sept. 17, 2010

Journey, Comparisons, and Gifts [QnA]

How do you stay on your own journey; stop comparing; see your own unique gifts to the world; and nurture those gifts?

The short answer is… “Only in the Present Moment."

We are on our journey now. The admonition from Rumi is: “Don’t go back to sleep.” And I would add that every time we realize we went back to sleep, we are awake again!

Comparing is always a game of our ego the egoic mind that is always comparing and categorizing. As we stay awake, we also see the comparison start to come in and then we can choose to continue comparing and get further entranced by our egoic thought process…or we can choose to return to pure awareness, without judgment. Usually comparison involves making self and others ‘worse than’ or ‘better than’… both egoic distractions from the Present Moment…

Being aware of your unique gifts and nurturing them also goes beyond thinking about what they may be… As we live in the present moment, we can choose to follow our heart and allow our natural gifts to continue to express themselves. Realizing that the creative Life Energy living through us can express itself in many ways and will never be limited to a lists of ‘gifts’ we may come up with through the thinking process… There are times when we use our thinking abilities to contemplate a particular quality, topic, word, or action… which is both in the moment and potentially useful in building a point of tension in cognitive and creative process that nurtures the intuitive, inspiration, and illuminating ‘pops’ to emerge.

Each aspect of your concern begins with awareness and acceptance of ‘what is’ in this moment… Follow your intrinsic nature to create and continue to give expression to the Life that is living through your form, your emotions, your thoughts, your sensations, your actions.

Fixing others Pain

[[In response to some questions or concerns from friends and readers, I have taken the opportunity to see what words might come regarding these inquiries and the results are what follow... Your thoughts and comments are invited... you may write them by clicking the 'Comment' link at the end of the blog article or send them directly to: john@sunhutch.com.]

How do I empathize with others pain (stories) without wanting to fix them?

This question is chock-full of sub-topics, so I will initially offer a few questions to contemplate:

• How does one fix pain?
• Whose pain are you trying to fix?
• Is it physical pain, a recurring replay of something from the 'past,' or a current moment situation?
• Why is the person telling you the "story" and what do they want from you? What do they expect from you?
• What does "empathize" mean to you? What would empathizing actually look like?
• Does listening to someone else describe events that were painful to them make you uncomfortable?
• How do you deal with your own "pain"?

The best thing we can ever do is be present in the moment.

Sometimes people become identified as victims and so are most comfortable drawing in others by repeating the 'victim' events, replaying and recreating past moments that are really only trips away from the reality of the present.

Sometimes we have had a traumatic event that has occurred and it is healing to share it with someone. If this is the case, your present attention can be a part of that healing moment.

Eventually some form of acceptance needs to take place... it may be in the form of forgiveness... it may take the form of letting go... No matter what form it takes, in order to find the Peace of this present moment, we let go of both the past and also let go of fantasies about the future.  This can help to create a spaciousness in the stream of thoughts and feelings so be become aware of the Being we are in this moment.

Finding space in our awareness apart from the stories in our head brings us once again back Home to the timeless Now... the present moment of LIFE.... From which all things have their form and existence... It is only here and now where we experience the Peace that passes all understanding.

[Note: There is always more we can say about each element in this question or any question. The real answers come from within to have transformative effects which last. -  jh]

______________________________________________________

John Hutchinson
http://www.sundancewellnesscenter.com/ - [latest post to blog]
http://www.sunhutch.com/ - [blog intro page]
Lancaster, PA

Some comments on Beauty and the Body...

Some comments on Beauty and the Body...

How does one accept their own beauty and not get sucked into the
notion that a thin body is the only form that's beautiful?

From Joanne S:

Well, if a belief is just a thought that we keep thinking, then I
guess the answer is to surround ourselves with people and media that
support our desired belief. I know, easier said than done in some
cases, but to me, this is the gift of age- I am concerned less and
less with "fitting in" with the dominant culture and take much more
pleasure in discovering and being who I am, not who I used to think I
should be.

Growing up as I did in a rather "waspish" culture, there was a lot of
shame associated with being anything but the cultural ideal of thin
(and demure!). I have observed that it is not that way in other
cultures. In my own neighborhood, for example, which is mostly
Hispanic, the women dress like sexy babes no matter what size they
are- their form-fitting clothes showing every curve! And in the words
of the writer ZZ Packer, "...large black women wear their fat like
mink coats..." (I love that one)

I have given up determining how I feel about myself based on what I
weigh. I have eliminated the concept of eating "bad" foods (as in "I
was bad today...I had cheesecake...").

That being said, I am acutely aware of how different foods affect my
moods and my physical well-being, and of the detrimental effect that
carrying excess weight has had on my joints, etc. This has been a
strong motivator for me to clean up my act, eliminate processed food,
and actually eat a raw, plant-based diet for the last 6 months. This
is not a "diet" in the way people usually mean, but a new way of life.
And it is by no means a deprivation plan. You wouldn't believe all
the fabulous foods I eat, including pie, and chocolate, even "ice
kream". The longer I eat this way, the more sensitive I have become,
making it even easier to appreciate the subtle deliciousness of fresh,
live food. By adopting this diet for health reasons rather than
vanity, I have short-circuited the self-criticism that so often
accompanies attempts to "lose weight" (focusing on the negative),
although releasing weight is a happy side effect of this way of eating
:-)

Thanks for opening up this complex and interesting conversation. I'm
going to go make a cup of tea now and have a slice of mango jam pie
with date/pecan crust. hehe.
blessings,  JS

---------------------------------------------------------

from Cheryl N,

One idea is to pick a particular body part that you struggle accepting and send love and healing energy there. Maybe the color blue if you like.

Another idea is to fit your body with clothes that accentuate and flatter your body type(that's were I come in)

Step by step one could include exercise into there nurturing regimen.

Of course Repeating your words. . . fall in love with What Is.

Be gentle on yourself and the process . . realizing our culture and your own history or family expectations.
and. . . your right . . . could be a book

Oh yeah . . .kinda out there, but I personally believe there is wisdom stored in my lovely fat cells. ... . We know that hormones are stored there. and. . . .when I start feeling my body has to live up to some standard I sometimes view myself as Sophia (wisdom). This helps


Have a great day... CN

And some poetry from CN

YES I AM
Oh I'm fat
yes i am
i got softness all over this land
oh its cozy and so right really is a delight
you may look at me and say
your not clean and lazy all day
but if you look beyond
the thing you distaste
you would find a friend or a mate
or someone you would like to get to know
because the reality is you know
no two bodies are alike
every body has a body that's right
you can lose weight or gain
or always stay the same
just find yourself and be true
cause no one has to live in your body
but you

- CN

 

------------------------------------------------------------------------

See original article "Beauty and the Body" in blog archive at http://www.sunhutch.com/ 

______________________________________________________

John Hutchinson
http://www.sundancewellnesscenter.com/ - [latest post to blog]
http://www.sunhutch.com/ - [blog intro page]
Lancaster, PA

------------------------------------------------
To ADD or ADJUST EMAIL DELIVERY, choose interest options, or send a message, please visit: http://EZ-1111.com 

Another Sundancing Birth...

Another Sundancing Birth...

Several weeks ago I finished unpacking some books... and as I was walking past the bookshelves the other day, my eye caught a set of Sacred Path Cards and book combo.

When that sort of thing happens, I usually follow the lead and so for the first time in perhaps 3 years or more I pulled the box off the shelf, opened the cards, and wiggled out one from the middle of the pack to focus on for this now-time in my life...

Out of perhaps 50-60 cards in the pack, the card I drew was "Sun Dance" ...the name I have used for my healing, counseling, and coaching service in the world for many years... Sundance Healing Center, Sundance Wellness Center, Sundance Publications, Sundance Center, Sundance Center Counseling Services, Sundance Transition Services... and more....

In the 90s as I was doing a 'driving' quest across the country, I was led to a Native American tattoo artist who carved the word "Sundance" and a scene with mountains and an eagle on my back. It was a sacred time of initiation and sacrifice and commitment. It was my form of the Sun Dance ceremony.

There have been times, like with many of us, where I became lost here and there as we do sometimes and I 'gave up' on the Sundance vision as a service, ministry, and place of community, healing, and remembering who we are... I became practical and focused on getting a 'real' job, which usually meant a corporate position making good money with benefits... the 'American Way'... in order to provide, to get 'stuff,' and build a 'happy' and 'comfortable' life.  And this has all been part of the journey that is written over and over again through many lives and journeys... Some of us have had a chance to share our stories, our vision, our purpose.... And have even shared moments together of being One with the One Being that is LIFE...

So, the 'coincidence' of drawing the "Sun Dance" card was another of LIFE's miracles for which I am grateful. Talking with an old friend recently, I was asked what I was going to do, "After all you have to make money to take care of yourself as we grow older." I had been explaining that it is a time to BE and to let the newness emerge in the moment.

And so, I am doing just that... I know the strength of Spirit and Life Energy that resides within all of us... I know the 'miracles' that are becoming quite ordinary occurrences... manifestations from the formless space of Being... and I am grateful...

The Sundance Center goes wherever I AM in this world... it travels with this John-form at the core of Being within... we are indeed ONE... My job is to show up as long as LIFE keeps breathing me into action... My job is to BE present in this moment... and as guided, to share the creative life energy that emanates from the Source of Love... to listen in presence, to respond beyond ego and attachments and expectations in truth-telling... that is the vision of this Sundance Center... Continuing to dance the light of the Sun into the world of form...

I continue to write and suspect that times of 'coaching others' and doing workshops or talks or individual sessions will continue to appear. I use a blog format to share and archive writings that flow through this form and also expressions from others. I have recently added a "Sundance Network Associates and Affiliates" section where readers of these words are invited to add your link. We are all interconnected and this is one form to help the search engines make it so in some electronic energetic manner.

So I invite us all to continue dancing together through the inspirations and the unique forms in which Life's Energy... Spirit... chooses to be expressed...

Peace and Love All-Ways....

John, H'tuchi, Running Feathers, Johnny Butterhawk, or whatever this form may be labeled in this moment....

______________________________________________________

John Hutchinson
http://www.sundancewellnesscenter.com/ - [latest post to blog]
http://www.sunhutch.com/ - [blog intro page]
Lancaster, PA

------------------------------------------------
To ADD or ADJUST EMAIL DELIVERY, choose interest options, or send a message, please visit: http://EZ-1111.com

Parenting: Raising children with high self-esteem

How do you raise children with high self esteem?

The question is an interesting one. While I think I know what you mean, I do wonder about what you mean by “raise children” and also what you might mean by “high self esteem”….

When children come into our life, we are given the responsibility to do the best we can as those who would nurture, support, and care for them. Then we often say goodbye and let them go into the world to find their way. We of course can still love and coach as we are asked to do so… but there comes a time to let go…

But what about those years when we are faced with the day to day interactions? … Whether the child is mostly dependent as in the early years, or whether it is a time of growing independence through school years, we can come from a place of response rather than reaction... From a place of awakened awareness, we know that we are equal with Being and an integral part of the Oneness of Life itself… each at a different point on the path, yet sharing space and learning from each other about life about parenting, about being and doing…

The parent has the responsibility to love and respect the true being of another being at all times. This may mean different things to different people. In my experience, it seems best to be present and listen to what the child is saying, without simply trying to correct or change what we may think is ‘wrong’ thinking or action.

As with all of life, a good approach as a parent is to take care of your own ‘self esteem’ and make sure you are as conscious and aware in the present moment as much as possible. And as in all relationships, we often learn about our own ego and expectations when we catch our reacting with anger, frustration, or energy that pushes away and makes other defensive. So “raising” a child or two or six can present many opportunities for learning… for both parents and children…

I think that people most likely enter the world with an open and awake presence… they respond directly to energies and stimuli in their environment. It is as they become more domesticated that they tend to lose touch with that innate sense of intuition and awareness. We want them to fit into to ‘our’ society… so they pick up our language and words and more importantly the cultural and tribal energies and rules that may be taught and are surely absorbed at both conscious and unconscious levels.

So, when our son was eating one night and using his fingers rather than his utensils, we talked to him a bit about how people in social setting usually do things and if he didn’t want people staring at him, it would be a good idea to practice using the knife and fork and spoon… Of course we kept it simple and tried not to make it a “bad” thing to use his fingers. I tell this story, and I’m sure every time I share it, it changes a bit… that’s what talking about the past is usually about… but the point is that we can talk with our children about social customs that we want to convey without making others right or wrong. There are certainly more complex issues that arise all the time. Keeping the communication open is an important aspect of parenting.

Many years ago, I mediated between a parent and child in which the communication was all but broken down, except for rather hurtful and attacking noises being thrown at one another…. A sure indication that neither one is seeing the results they want and expect.

It is important for parents and all of us to see others without judgment or expectations. Most frustrated parents are ones who have unmet expectations. Most frustrated people are ego identified humans who have forgotten their identity.

So the most important aspect for any parent and any person is to take time each day to BE… taking time to be aware of the Being-ness we are… right now in the timeless presence… I know many will say, “Well try that when your kid is screaming at you.” Or is coming home 4 hours after the time you said they were to come home… One mother was so angry at her daughter for being late and not calling and telling her she would be late… The anger was more of a fear that something had happened and rather than being glad she was safe, the mother expressed he relief through anger. I’m not saying an expression or emotion is wrong or right. But as we remain aware and conscious in the moment, we are more likely to make choices about what we say that comes from a place of stillness and Love that we all are and can experience from the Source of Being and Love within all of Life. There have been many books written on how to raise your children. Perhaps there needs to be a book about learning from your children, their actions, and communications, how to parent...

Every person has their own way of expressing the Being we are. We all find ourselves getting lost in identifications…feeling states… roles… thoughts and expectations… and it is our job to be aware… and when we notice there is some negativity or stress, name it for what it is… accept what is… and that is the process of reawakening moment by moment…

So, if we indeed can be present and see our child as divine... as we are... and all of life is, would that make a difference in the choices we make?... in the things we choose to say?... and in the actions we choose to take?... It seems it might…

To summarize a few points:
1. Breathe and remain awake and aware;
2. Accept ‘what is’ without making it good or bad;
3. Choose your actions and words with respect and Love for yourself and ALL of life;
4. Do your best to stay in touch with Life’s Love, Peace and Joy of Being that resides within you;
5. Communicate your love and concerns in a way your child  understands, while listening to what he or she is trying to express to you;
6. If you want or need coaching in parenting, you will find it; and the best place is always an awakened heart…. And...
7. You fill in the next ones…..

[Note: “Raising” could mean: how do we lift them up to the true being they already are?… it could also mean: how do I control their development? If it leans toward the later, it seems that development continues to happen with or without or input, so we might as well make our interactions as positive as possible.

“Self-esteem” usually refers to the feelings one has about oneself. Positive influence can help, but the personal ego usually moves the person/child toward comparisons and there is always someone better, as judged by our ego… most people are sure they have had poor self esteem along the path. And if feeling negative toward some aspect of our body or behavior or abilities is what we are referring to, then yes, I’m sure we all have fallen short of someone’s idea of perfection. Confidence often comes from accomplishing or doing something well enough to earn some praise or reward… in reality, we can find the Love and Joy of Being through being in touch with the One Source of Life Energy that all forms share… the timeless presence of Being…

There is an aspect of ego development in which confidence, self-esteem, self-image are all important in helping us operate in the world in a functional way… but that is the material for a different article or book!,,, jh]