Relationships in 2012 & Beyond

"Love is a state of being.

Your love is not outside your body;

it is deep within you.

You can never lose it,

and it cannot leave you.

It is not dependent on some other body,

some external form."

 

~ Eckhart Tolle, in Practicing the Power of Now, p.72

 

 

Many people are in a relationship with a partner. Others are open to a new relationship. We are all in relationships of one form or another with family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, etc.

 

The words of Eckhart Tolle ring true and we must tap into the inner Source and resource of Love if we are to have a sense of inner peace and acceptance. Whatever you may call this inner Source of Loving Life Energy, it seems to be the key to what is labeled "self-esteem"..."self-worth"... "self-love"... which in my opinion is really an acceptance of the Love of "God"..."Goddess"... "Source" to ourselves. It involves coming to a realization that Life is One and we are all much more than individuals; we are a part of the unity of all that is.

 

The core of Love at the innermost part of our being is Being itself. It is from this centered space that we can be most in relationship without the neediness or codependency that can take us into the land of the lost... or at least feeling lost.

 

Centered in the love within our soul can be compared with coming home to a true sense of integrity within which provides a foundation or reference to respond with loving kindness, rather than reacting from some egoic concept, expectation, want, or other form of attachment.

 

Of course, we are all human 'beings' and are in a universal learning laboratory of sorts. Therefore many interactions within relating with others will provide lessons. It seems to work out best when all the people involved are at least open to learning and growing; an openness to possibilities.

 

When we look outside ourselves for something to fill a void within our soul, we will most likely find disappointment around one of the corners. Now it is true that there are experiences that can only result in satisfaction as we are in relationship with others. The natural human needs for social contact, as well as sensual, sexual, touchy-feelly contact... the touch or hug as well as the companionship and sharing of life experiences... they are all the wonderful interactions we share with others. We also partner for other purposes of specific cooperative missions, raising a family, business opportunities, just plan fun, and many more. 

 

LOVE is an inside-out job! Love is something we can feel within and share. When I truly am in touch with that energy of Source love, then there is a sense of respect for all of Life; and a love for all that comes into my sphere of consciousness. Others who may not be in touch with that "Source-Love" in the moment may have wants and expectations and desires that may be different than my own sense of direction, wants, and needs. It is here that something happens that we often label as "conflict." And it is in this moment of difference that the learning moment arises. Unless we choose to avoid  it...deny it... withdraw to some other place or activity... blame the other so we can maintain our own 'pure sense of being right'... all forms of avoidance.

 

There is much that can be learned in the whole area of "conflict resolution." Because I needed to learn how to deal with conflict and differences, I studied it, practiced it, and became a teacher for peer mediation as well as doing mediations in various settings. Without going into it in depth, there is a necessary shift that needs to occur to find out what we have in common, beyond the differences. And also an acceptance that differences are not wrong, they are just differences. There are ways to communicate with love that are not just venting, blaming, attacking, or controlling through the silent treatment...

 

We all have our concepts and world views and various ideas about this, that, and everything else. And beyond and beneath all the mental chatter with which we become so easily identified, there is the stillness and the center of Being...of Life... of Love...

 

If we could only do one thing each day, it seems vital that we visit our "Home" within... visit the Source and Energy of Life... which to me, is the 'Sacred Spirit' and Breath of Life within All that is....

 

The quickest way for me is simply to be present now... with my breath, the sensations within, the Life Energy streaming through the body at all times.... and as we turn our attention to these other areas the streaming of thoughts may subside to a level that we can be with what is... If other things, like feelings or body tensions, come to the fore, we can notice them and breath into them...accepting all that arises gently letting them come and letting them go... just as our breathing is a sort of death and rebirth with every cycle.... so to is Life... ever new and renewed in this Present Moment...

 

Much Love,

 

John

 

 

 

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