Welcome... and Thank You for visiting...

“Sundance Center for Conscious Living” … affirming and respecting our uniqueness, our interconnectedness, and our Oneness... As we continue to awaken in the present moment, our intention remains to stay awake to the Oneness that is Life... and respond in Loving Service during the conscious moments we have here on earth... We seek to help one another heal and remember… moving toward greater awareness, wellness, balance, synthesis, and loving action… We invite you to listen to that which mostly deeply calls to you ... Love and Blessings to All!

Wednesday

Trouble accepting or giving love...?!?


Here is another ramble from brother John in Denver…. I call it a ramble because it is a way of teasing out something that has popped in to my consciousness and I don’t have a clear or concise picture of what I want to say…. An exploration through a somewhat stream of stained glass consciousness….

So what came up was how often I and perhaps others cannot let love in….. and have trouble receiving love and caring expressed by others… and also have trouble loving myself…ourselves… in some way…

I realize this particularly at times when I can love myself, others and the world around me. It becomes clearer that the times I cannot love myself or accept love from others are times when I am lost in some negative trance of past recordings, memories, regrets… on and on…. I’m sure most have had the experience of getting lost in the negative spiral of the mental jungle that finds us going down “the rabbit hole” caught in those negative thoughts… mostly from the past…. That we rehearse and replay…

It culminates in feelings of unworthiness… I’m bad in some way… not worthy or good enough to be loved… Of course, our background experiences can make these rabbit holes deeper at times… and if we do not have some way to break the trance, we can live in the low and imploding energy until we use most of our energy to resist life energy coming through us… this has been labeled by many as depression… when in reality it takes a lot of energy to resist the natural flow of Life energy trying to flow though our being and form….

We all have our favorite negative tapes we play… we rehearse and replay the so-called ‘failures’ of the past or when we did not live up to our own or someone else’s expectations or projections of who we should be…

And really what happens with me is that I become lost in the maze of endless thought patterns that keep me detached from being present now…. Of course we can be present in our thoughts and egoic mental gymnastics… and this is a form of being conscious but not really present… So in this sense I guess I would see being present as being aware in the moment beyond the feelings and thoughts and really in this present moment of now.

How in the world do we get here from the rabbit holes and negative tapes? Well, it is probably different for each of us in some ways. For me, I often find myself getting deeper into the pit and at least being aware that I am in a resistive mode toward life. This awareness in the moment gives me the opportunity to make a choice to stay in the trance, which has somewhat been recognized, or to do something different. The practice of awareness…. Of seeing and identifying what is, often leads to the memory of other times of being in a different state…. Changing states some would call it…

“Letting go” are two words that are often used to describe the changing states process…

Acceptance of what was…of what is… and moving our conscious awareness from then to now… letting go of the past and re-entering this present moment…

When I have found a rabbit hole, I can go back through my entire life history and through the lens of the pit will see everything in a negative light… Of course there are times when we need to deal with and heal past negative energies, situations, relations, etc… we all have done some things along the way that we might do differently in this moment if we had it to do over again. Yet, it does not really help to say we are all in the same boat or alike in this general way, since I have to deal with my life and my experiences, and my own healing… as you need to do your own work and healing…

One of the signs of a rabbit hole approaching for me is if I catch myself comparing my life to that of others. Right away we can get into a “not good enough” or failure mode since we can always find someone’s life or situation “better” than our own…. With all our expectations and projections thrown in.

The only thing that breaks this trance for me is to return to the present moment with a deep sense of acceptance of what was and what is… Am I okay right now? Is my life okay today? From this point we can make decisions that we need to make in the moments as they arise. From a greater awareness in this present moment, I can see and choose the best I can… and this is enough….

Decisions made in the past were mostly done in the best possible way, only to be labeled “bad” or “wrong” when the outcome was not what we intended, wanted, and/or expected. So the art of labeling things in a negative way develops after the actual decision and action… and the tendency to label in negative ways may also be supported through models in our past who we caught in negative patterns and lost in their own pain and past…

Everything effects everything… our past experiences… the examples and models of childhood… and the values we were taught or have come to hold are all part of what makes up our uniqueness…

It seems that expectations provide a level of hope and anticipation… and they also provide an opportunity for disappointment and suffering of some sort. Can we hope and also hold that hope with a lightness that comes up short of being attached to an outcome. I have often written and said to “expect the unexpected” which of course we cannot do since we do not know what the unexpected future holds. But for me it suggests that no matter where our minds go regarding future events, hopes and fears, we know that we do not know and must see and deal with events as they come into our lives. We make plans and of course Life happens in its own course… Am I willing and able to accept this uncertainty. If I don’t then I am sure to be humbled back into reality since I do not control Life through my egoic wishes and wants.

The complexity of the maze of our mental energies can be overwhelming… I guess I would go back to the beginning of this ramble… the issue of not being able to receive and give love which seems to stem from issues, as labeled in modern psychological terms, issues of low self-esteem and low self-worth… If we did not grow up in a garden where these aspect were nurtured and tended, then we are left to find ways to nurture ourselves and grow our sense of value…. Of healthy self-love and acceptance… of the ability to be open to others by giving and receiving love… by caring and tending to others as well as ourselves.

I have found moments in life when I have realized I am not “bad”… and have come to see others as not “bad” as well…. I have opened to the acceptance that “good” and “bad” are just terms and interpretations, of projections and judgments… yet at the feeling level of being, they can be very real and act as filter on all we do.

For some of us, it takes a moment by moment vigilance… keeping an “eye” open for the rabbit holes and also for the rainbows… both are part of the mystery we call Life. To deny the dark valleys and only focus on the mountaintops can be limited in our understanding of Life’s fullness.

So, for those who dare to travel dark valleys from time to time, I would say, you are not alone and to always chose Life...

No comments:

Post a Comment

Comments are approved by blog admin for appropriateness for public publishing.